Pete Pallett Writes

Fully Loaded Tea

Brand Story (Full Version):

Once upon a time*, in a place far, far away** there lived two sisters, Olga and Katya.
**Novosibirsk, Siberia

They were best of friends, and did everything together. 

“Let’s play dolls!” one would say.
“Let’s have a tea party!”, the other would reply.

In fact, tea was a big part of their lives back then, and still is. The girls would drink 8 gigantic Siberian-Size cups of tea every day. 

Their grandmother would make the tea herself. Sometimes, the tea was vile and disgusting, concocted with yukky stuff like dandelion root. Sometimes baba would use wild berries, which tasted much better. Grandma knew tea was good for the girls, and so they drank it, day in and day out. Sometimes in a fit of girlish spite they would force their dolls to drink it, too.

Time passed, and so we slow dissolve to:

Katya and Olga moved to Vancouver, Canada with their family. They were top students, some think in no small part due to their grandmother’s tea, which may have made them extra smart and provided them with superhuman powers.

How else to explain how the girls could spend every waking moment working, delivering papers, babysitting, janitorializing and even teaching kids how to kayak (they loved watching the children, bobbing in the waves like little corks).

The sisters received full scholarships to University of British Columbia, which is located, surprisingly enough, in the province of British Columbia. Katya completed Science One, a rigorous first-year honours science program. Wanting to contribute to the family finances, she began work at an online gaming company, rising to a senior management position in marketing and event planning. Since her brain seemed to have almost unlimited storage capacity, she decided to return to school and was accepted at the Sorbonne in Paris, one of the most prestigious universities in Europe.

Olga, with an equally large brain and not to be outdone by her sister, studied economics at UBC and then became enraptured with languages, learning Japanese and Spanish. She travelled to Spain, Morocco and throughout Europe, eventually hooking up with Katya in Paris.

Katya had experienced a “eureka” moment when she stumbled upon a famous French teahouse, Mariage Freres, which served at least 300 blends of tea. The girls wondered why, in North America, there were so many wimpy teas on the market. The herbal blends they had tasted were as sour as grandmother’s dandelion root tea. Most tea bags contained as much tea dust as tea leaf and many green and black teas were virtually tasteless, (i.e. greatly lacking in taste.) The girls also wanted to know why on earth people stuck their little fingers straight out while sipping tea, but that’s another story.

“Let’s start a tea company!”, she told her sister.
“Let’s start a revolution!”, Olga replied with equal abandon.

And so, the sisters set out to revolutionize the tea industry. Where to begin? The land of  their dreams: Canada.

Katya sold her condo for start-up money and the sisters took on the mission of learning as much as they could about the tea business.

They decided they would put a twist on the traditional, by creating teas that were a natural complement to a healthy lifestyle, and were “fully loaded with fruits and berries and other good things”. The girls knew the power of certain superfoods like Goji berries, blueberries and rosehips. These foods were not only good for you, they were loaded with wild, crazy flavours that tasted like a party in your mouth.

The search was on to find a reliable source of the exotic ingredients the sisters needed. They discovered there were monks in Tibet who grew exactly the right Goji berries.

At first, they blended small test batches in their own kitchen. (At least they didn’t have to resort to using a cement mixer, as a competitor did). The sisters knew exactly what they wanted, and what they didn’t want so during taste testing, you would often hear:

“This one’s too sour” from a grimacing Olga.
“This one’s just ewwwwww”, from a flinching Katya.
“Oh! This one’s jusssssst right!”, they would both say, squealing in delight!

Right then and there, Katya and Olga made a pact that they would refund money to any customer who said “ewwwwww” after drinking their tea. They call this a “grimace face”.

Olga and Katya branded their company Fully Loaded Tea and began to create a line of powerful, fully-functional blends they named Citrus Spiked Black Tea, Goji Force Green Tea, Naked Strawberry Green Tea, Shameless Berries Fruit Tea, Bulletproof Currant Fruit Tea and Sweet Addiction Fruit Tea.

The girls want to stress that while there is no proven truth behind the healing power of pyramids, they have chosen to package their teas in see-through nylon bags that are pyramid-shaped. The real truth is that a pyramid-shaped bag allows Fully Loaded Tea to fully load each bag with more tea, fruit, berries and flowers. It also prevents these precious ingredients from being crushed. Poor little crushed berries and fruits. People also like the feel of the bags; it’s like running your fingers lightly over a woman’s stocking, if the stocking was fully loaded with berries and fruit, rather than a woman’s leg.

Today, is the day after yesterday. Olga and Katya are now on a mission to take Fully Loaded Tea to the world. In the future, you will see new Fully Loaded Tea blends and perhaps new Fully Loaded food products coming your way. You will also see Katya and Olga, the two sisters from Siberia, shamelessly promoting their Fully Loaded Tea to anyone who’s ready to experience the taste of a party in their mouth.

*1987  **Novosibirsk, Siberia


Scope: Writing of Brand Story
In Collaboration With: Subplot Design Inc.
For: Fully Loaded Tea